Another attempt at putting together pieces of the neverending puzzle...

There are a lot of topics rolling around in my head and I want to construct cogent pieces or essays around them. I also know that if I look this stuff up, I’ll find other people trying to do and say the same.

The world is weirdly deceptive in that way. You’re surrounded by particular voices, narratives and opinions and how you can even think you have a glimpse of a global truth seems oddly arrogant considering how much your own world, your own ears and eyes are missing. That’s how I see the world, and that’s why I sit where I sit and see the fence as the only logical place. It doesn’t mean I don’t stand for anything, what it means is I stand for ensuring I have all the right information, or as much of it as I can possibly get, before I make up my mind and doing so aware of the fact that I’m not only surrounded by bias, but that I carry so much of my own.

And besides, it’s not like I don’t stand for anything, I'm clearly just as opinionated as the next person about a lot of things and I know where I stand on a number of the most 'controversial' issues, but I do so without pretending that other intelligent and logical human beings haven't reached their opposing stances with valid reason and experience. Therefore while I am tempted by sheer temper to get mad and get confused and flabbergasted by these opposing opinions, I know I have to understand that they think the way they do for a reason and what I want to do is find those reasons.

Writing is such a funny thing. Before I got onto this, I was already afraid of having to construct arguments about some of the topics I mentioned above and ended up here. A place that makes a lot more sense to me.

Saying that, I don’t want to relinquish myself of the responsibility to write out cogent arguments and I need to do that.

I am completely sick of being presented by a world that is determined not to listen. That sees it as their right not to listen.

I say being presented because I know once again, that I’m only seeing and hearing certain voices, not all the voices, and I don’t trust the overall picture I’m receiving of what people really think in the world. For every voiced opinion, there are millions of opinions that were withheld, kept quiet, not given a platform.

Facebook, for example. I know that there must be countless others like me who never comment on anything. And yet, there are so many comments available to deconstruct and it’s hard not to wonder if it’s only a particular type of personality that would make comments on such a public forum where everyone can see what they have to say. If only a particular type of person would get involved in public argument. If that means that all those people of a different type aren’t getting visibly represented in Facebook commentary, which, let’s face it, is an enormous beast of a world. Without that visible representation on the forum, it’s easy to think the world must in reality only look a certain way.

But this only then makes it important to remember that the online world has never, ever been a reliable representation of reality or real discussion or interaction. The words millions would happily say from the safety of their own homes and without having to face someone in the flesh, are so often not the words that would come out were they right in front of their friend, colleague, acquaintance, stranger.

The more I write, the more I’m tempted to say I can’t possibly know the world. I mean, there are so many things I’ve encountered on there that people in real life have never heard of, like the Cotton Ceiling, Gamergate or the endless drama of the Youtube world, just to name a few.

But at the same time, I have to face the reality I am seeing, and that the words that have been said online, have been said. They exist. They represent and reveal the truths they reveal. About the people who said them, about the likely background of that person, about the community and environment in which the words were written (not spoken).

There is knowledge and wisdom to be gleaned from that reality, that aspect of reality, however virtual it appears.

And so I am back to where I started.

I can only use that information which I have been given and that which I can clearly see. I must use it and I must learn from it and I must continue the never-ending excavation. I just have to remember that what I see and hear comes with limits. And that that those limits mean that I must never allow myself to be discouraged, hurt or heartbroken by a seemingly horrible world that may or may not even exist.

This time last year...

I began to write the below late last July as the problems with my health were becoming more complicated. It was simply a walk, but it ended up being a real oasis-like moment of joy amidst the continuing barrage of difficulty that had thus far clouded the year. 

Looking back on it now, I'm just really, really glad that the health has pretty much done a 180 from this time last year, current flu notwithstanding. I don't know what the state of things will be this time next year, particularly once I come off the last of the immunosuppressants, but I'll damn well take what I've got - just like I took that night at a time when I really needed it. 

***

'Last night, I went for a walk from Pyrmont to Glebe.

I had just said farewell to a friend who would soon be returning to the UK and I walked along Harbourside on this quiet Wednesday night, finding it unexpectedly pleasant. Approaching the water, I realised for the first time that the South Steyne had disappeared and I ended up pausing to ask Insta where it had gone. That quick pic posted, I continued past the now empty spot on the water and could see that some restaurants and bars were still open meaning a pleasant hum of activity hung about the harbour. Tourists still milled about the food court and the Watershed was still abuzz with mid-weeknight drinkers as I walked against the cold wind and felt it numb the itchy, burning skin on my face.

Feeling the chilly air fan my face, I suddenly felt open for the first time in months, as though I was once again in a different city and enjoying the freedom of being away and exploring. It was a happily surprising sensation considering the stampeding health issues that, as of the last eight months or so, had made me feel less and less confident about a number of things, like being outdoors unless I absolutely had to or even looking people in the face. 

Then again, it was this latest problem that led to my getting to have this evening in the first place. 11pm on a Wednesday night is a fairly odd stroll time for someone who would under normal circumstances need to be at work on time the next day, however I had my first appointment in years with a derma and it wasn't till mid-afternoon so I was in no rush to get home. I had just done the walk from Glebe to Pyrmont with my friend and my ride home wasn’t ready for another hour, so I was free to stroll.

It was lovely. Due to the constant cycle of illness and recovery at the time, my most prominent state of being was severely anxious fatigue (for which I had begun to seek professional help), the complete opposite of this quiet exhilaration that seemed to grow as the night went on. I was loving gazing up at the city skyline, striding past the water and the bars and the other people, locals and tourists alike. As I made my way towards Tumbalong, allowing myself to actually take in the new Convention Centre for the first time, I admired its clean lines and scattered lights. It seemed like everything felt new and that was delightful.

I continued through the rest of Darling Quarter before gearing towards Chinatown. Thus far, it had been quiet without being too empty for a late night walking solo, lending the night an air of tranquility I don't normally associate with the city. I strolled through Chinatown, which was still lit up and comfortably busy, and eventually moved onto George St to begin the final length up to Broadway. Along the way, I made a few attempts to take pictures and as a result, I've some hopelessly hazy shots to remember the evening by.

The whole time, my skin was still burning and itching away, just like it's doing right now, and I was still grateful that the dimness of the evening meant it wasn't as painfully obvious to all and sundry as I felt it would have been in the daylight.

But despite all that, I felt more like myself than I'd felt in months. I felt freer than I had in months. The evening had inadvertently transformed into a much needed reminder that all the things going wrong hadn't erased my capacity to feel like this. To feel like I could still be outdoors (albeit at night) and still explore and still enjoy things like this newfound tranquility in the midst of a city that, much as I loved it, too often felt like a constant stampede of people.  

It was a nice realisation.'

Much hiatus. So brain dumpage. Wow.

It's been a little too long since I've gotten on there - another one of many, of course, inevitable pauses, attempts to regroup, rest, breathe amidst the constant battle for comprehension of a world so intensely full. Of course, I've also been genuinely busy, though since I've gotten back from my trip, I've had a number of ideas for posts - the joys of any form of travel, wherever it goes and however long it lasts, the shared experiences of so many different cities, the steamroller that is gentrification and progress and finding a balance between necessity and maintaining cultural life, glimpsing the spirit of different cities and the fights they fight, to jot down a few - and thus far, they haven't moved into the realm of published reality purely because of the usual mix of laziness and distraction on my part.

Frankly, I read too much. I don’t mean that in the way many would think… what I mean is, I read and then find myself trying to digest too much, of the world’s problems, mostly. I understand why people pick a cause and seemingly ignore all others because it is freaking exhausting.

Here’s an example.

Trying to argue in the debate on transgenderism while then having to take into account the biological science, the psychological development of children, the ongoing battles in feminism and homosexuality, the science and history of opinion and how that comes to play in a modern world where everyone’s opinions are strengthened by those who agree and cause increasing polarity between them and those who don’t, taking into account morality and moral relativism, the ongoing debate about mandating morality and having government favour a particular moral stance or viewpoint, the true development of each individual’s moral perspectives and therefore the understanding of background, the inevitable discussion about socio-economic status and people’s genuine access to opportunity, the notion of white privilege, the notion of racism, the notion of mandating laws about offence or offending people’s sensibilities and again the issue of moral superiority, the neverending question about those who have and those who have not and the machinations involved behind closed doors about what can be done about it all, the need to trust in the goodness of humanity despite overwhelming evidence of people’s greed and lack of foresight of belief in integrity, the need to trust in goodness at all when those believed in have made so many errors, even inside my own church, the notion of belief, the power of persuasion versus hard core belief, the history of all of it and the myths that have been bandied around as fact, sifting through truth and lies, the source of those truths and lies, whether they be the media, the education sector, the government, the lobbyists, the nature of journalism and the need to tell the truth versus the need to sell or send a particular message, positive or negative, the need for people to have the capacity to discern between fact and fiction, the need for education that creates those types of people, the need for true objectivity and the uphill battle in finding it because people are humans with experiences, ideas, backgrounds and subjectivity is the fallback position for anyone, however objective they believe themselves to be, the importance of history and how often that importance and how often the history itself is ignored and therefore doomed to repeat, the importance of the ideological and philosophical history, the debate surrounding whether or not truth even exists, the difference between truth and perspective of truth and the different means by which one finds it, the power of fiction to deliver and discover truth, the power of media to create platforms for truth and perspective, the ever changing landscape of how people see and learn and teach and speak, the inevitable debate about useless entertainment and its ability to distract from what is real, countered by the importance of culture in the progression of society and humanity, the sheer age of the medium of story and the way in which people seem programmed to respond to narrative, in whatever form.

I have to stop there because this will go on forever and at some point it will likely force me to plunge myself off the tracks altogether.

This is my brain. I’ve tried to say to myself again and again, pick something, anything, and then run with that, then lather, rinse, repeat.

But fatigue, physical, mental and emotional, are very, very real. And the reality also exists that none of the above exist without the others and in and of themselves, there already exists an immensity of literature and continuing schools of thought and discussion. The tapestry is so damn huge and unfortunately only metaphorical because trying to envision it all, trying to digest it all, trying to do so without feeling like you’re drowning in thought might be aided by an honest to goodness piece of something that maps all this shit out. Something to grab on to.

There is an actual throbbing in my right, frontal lobe at this very minute.

And now all I want to do is laugh.

I am a person with problems, much like everyone else, some real, some illusory, many, many which I feel don’t even begin to compare with those of the vast majority of the world, despite my childish cling to a notion of ‘difference’.

Thinking about this shit weighs a ton. But what a luxury I have, to have the time and means to think about it at all.

My daily 'battle' in this regard will always be the attempts to pick something and try to do something about it, granted I make the time. My life is what it is and I constantly try to figure out what more to do with it, but at the same time, I’ll be damned if I don’t try to squeeze every possible bit of meaning and offering I can out of each and every second because that is just how I am and I would never want to be any different.

Anyway, where to from here? The pot bubbles and I do plan to serve up some of the resulting stew. For now, at least, this place remains as it always has - a means by which to sort and share.

A nice thing to have, really. 

A response to fear in light of all that's going on in the world...

We

There is little else to do but continue.
Let the music play on
The words write themselves
And the smiles shine on.
Fear is a friend, not an enemy
It reminds us of what we have
What we could have
Who we could be
It only becomes a foe if we let it
If we allow it to consume us
To blind us to what's true and good
And keep us from doing all we can
Being who we can be
Even then, it isn't the fear that acts
Or doesn't act.
It is us.
We make the choice.
We are the cause.
We.

******

As most who know me would be very well aware, fear is the consistent underlying aspect of my character. There's no lie in my ease or in my laughter or moments of joy, there simply exists an acknowledgement that either hovering alongside or not far beneath is that little stratosphere of anxiety and doubt that has been formed over three decades of often hyper-sensitivity, over-awareness and an unrelentingly vivid and dramatic imagination.

Saying that, I still think the world is just as scary as it's always been, simply with more coverage. What I can't control, I can't, but because I'm often mired by the fear I so feverishly ramble on about above, it's too often easy to just allow the burial to take place and sink into dead mode. Not a difficult thing to do when I picture the people I love potentially being slain as they innocently go to Mass in the morning as they do every day and when I think of family members already lost having simply gone to do their job to provide for their family and, through no choice of their own, never come back. Fear throws aside realistic probability of risk or the fact that others have lived their entire lives this way and allows the notions to grow beyond proportion making me even 'happier' to sink into nerve bending oblivion.

The above is just a brief reminder that it is no excuse. I've always been of the opinion that my life is no one else's fault but mine and so I continue to think that way, fear notwithstanding. Atop that, is the broader reality that, so far as I'm concerned, my world is also no one else's fault but mine. I acknowledge the impact of other's choices but my responsive actions will always be mine and mine alone and for that I will always hope to take ownership of everything I choose and do and, following that, everything I inflict upon the world.

Now, to put some of that fear-taking into action, I post. Regardless of its triviality, putting anything up on this takes a chunk out of me and truth be told, I know of it garnering little impact, whether it be negative or positive. It is simply here and it is simply me. For the purposes of what I do on this thing, that is enough. I understand those who question that but truly, I assure you, the purpose is vital... in the absolute purest sense of the word.

Anyway, here's to ensuring that the sense of helplessness doesn't lead to actual uselessness in the face of all the crazy in the world.

Or... we could just go full Homer, a clearly viable option.

Harmonious Dichotomy

'Every so often, I look in the mirror and find myself amazed at how normal the person gazing back at me looks.

Let me explain – see, for a long time growing up, the notion of looking like a normal person (because regardless of how often we argue just what is normal, we all still at least have some idea of what is abnormal), well it was always something that felt far beyond my reach. True, a dramatic sentiment, but a sincere one. I grew up quite accustomed to having a physically visible condition and under those circumstances, you tend to weave your way between two worlds; the first being where you’ve grown used to feeling and being treated differently – in both the negative and the positive senses – and where you’ve learned to take the stares and comments and the itches and burns in stride, the second being where hope forces you to play a tug of war with yourself. You hope one day it will all go away and you will be normal and this hope both gets you through life’s oddball journey and makes you hate every second of it for not yet having reached that clear eyed, fateful day.' 

I'm not entirely sure when I wrote that, I imagine it was likely around the time I found this photo but, as is often my way, the thought went unfinished, if undiminished, so here it is.

Flying Solo Friday Night

So last Friday, I went to the movies on my own for the very first time. Now, it wasn't so big a deal that I was all that worried about going on my own, but it was enough of a deal for me to feel tentative (and I suppose, sit here and write about it). Why was that? A couple of reasons, a rather pale one concerning my general safety in being on my own in Newtown on a Friday night, though the journey home wasn't much of a concern as it's one I've made often enough from the metropolitan area (and in the end, the issue became moot because some friends ended up meeting me in the city afterwards and I got a lift home - hurrah!).

The other was, shamefully enough, wondering what people would think of me. I know, while I don't like that something so silly was able to potentially niggle at my desire to finally go see Boyhood (by the way, it is a wonderful movie, go see it. Immediately), the hesitance was there. Mind you, it didn't last very long, but it was there and it's only denial for me to pretend it didn't make an appearance.

Now, at no point was I actually concerned about being out alone or seeing the movie by myself. I enjoy doing things on my own and since I found out about its release in Australia, being a HUGE Linklater fan, I've been excited to see his reported 'masterpiece'. I wanted to know how well the long scale project had been executed. I wanted to see how Ellar Coltrane would grow with his character. I wanted to see if the typically Linklater-style philosophy would carry itself well in the film's dialogue. I wanted to see how well his daughter, Lorelei, would pull off her role. I wanted to know if I would fall in love as I have with so many of his past movies. For all those reasons and more, I was going to go see it and since the feelers I'd put out had mostly met with a lukewarm response, I decided that if necessary, I would go by myself before its cinema run ended - and I'm so, so glad I did.

I can't recommend the movie enough.

Still, going to the movies alone, going out on a Friday night alone, basically outings where you fly solo all seem to have a stigma hovering about them like a bad smell, enough so that it would even affect someone who enjoys time alone as much as I do.

I quite relish being on my own. To a lot of people, I know that will sound sad, but I've grown quite content in my own company and a lot of what I love is great done alone. Reading, writing, playing my piano, a good day out on a pleasant day (and not scorching like right now), relaxing with a good show or some music, hell, I enjoyed several shows on Broadway in NYC by myself. Additionally, the time is precious to me because I'm not someone who is often alone. I love my family and my friends and I couldn't love spending time with them more, but it does mean that moments that I really have purely to myself are rather rare and therefore over the years, I have grown to appreciate those moments.

But there you go, despite that, going to the movies on my own had thus far remained untested and there was some hesitance because I'm not entirely immune to societal stigma. Thankfully by the time I got off the train at Newtown, that hesitance was gone and I was just excited to see the movie and the excitement only grew after I bought my ticket. Newtown is also such a vibrantly alive place any given night and the atmosphere is fun to soak in when you're strolling about by yourself. When I entered the cinema after a failed attempt to grab a vegan cupcake from way too far up the road, I again had a dull pang of self-consciousness about where to sit so I wasn't somehow a nuisance to all the groups and couples but then I found a good spot, got comfy and enjoyed the movie.

I know it's not for everyone and I also know not everyone has pangs about this sort of thing, but when it comes down to it, I highly recommend anyone who still fears catching a flick on their own to reconsider. We're not in primary or high school anymore. Seeing a movie you actually want to see on your own, doesn't make you some sad loner. Within a half hour of finishing the movie, I was telling my friends all about it over Korean BBQ at BBQ City, but even if I'd been on my train back out west on my own munching on a snack I'd grabbed from the IGA next to the Dendy (my original plan), the sheer lack of other people certainly wouldn't have diminished my enjoyment of the movie and the creative and emotional gears it had gotten turning in my own head.

In fact, I would challenge someone who knows they aren't so good at being on their own to just give it a shot. Besides, you can't always be sure your family or friends will necessarily be interested in all the things you want to check out and it's definitely no fun dragging someone to something they don't want to see so why miss out simply because you won't have someone with you? Go out, grab some good food and enjoy yourself.

Meanwhile, if you do have people willing to be dragged to something they have no interest in, well that's still pretty damn sweet. And if you don't, then you get to call the shots, so why not call them?

Have I put off heading down to the RO enough???

Alrighty then, RO, here I come!

~~~~~~~~~

And it's later in the day, the RO has been covered and I am now power-typing it up on the 7th floor in the library. I was tempted to truck it on up all the way to the Law Faculty (which sits snugly atop the library, with an awesome view of everywhere within a huge radius (wish I could be more specific but sadly, I can't). I love that place, by the way. Talk about cushy. It's enough to convince one to do Law (if they can, that is... my friend got a 99.6 on his UAI and he still couldn't get in as he'd missed the cutoff by what, .2?). In secondyear, I did a course up there - Human Rights in Ancient Rome and it was a really interesting course too. Despite the fact that the guy who taught it was a quiet octogenarian, he was able to get everyone's interest sparked and of course, he was greatly aided by the course material. One thing I learnt? That the Romans were a slippery lot of bastards and I'd want one to represent me if I were ever taken to court. I so wish I'd had the grades to make it into Grad Law. I wanted to do that course so badly but ah well, c'est la vie. Will direct any legal questions to May instead ;)

The wind is hollering like mad outside and you can hear it beating against the windows. I'd anticipated a different day so I'm not really quite dressed for this(although for boiling weather, this shirt is the best). It certainly did aid my walk up here from lower campus... literally pushed me up, step by step, it was that strong. My hair was extremely unappreciative. It doesn't help (or does, as viewpoint calls) that the campus tends to act like one giant wind tunnel. The sensation was one akin to some invisible and impatient (and surprisingly strong) child pushing me up towards some imaginary candy shop and I do believe the angle at which I was walking at times would have betrayed this as well. This does mean that my trek back down to lower campus (only this time, to harass the loverly people down in the Science Office) ought to be pretty interesting. 

Meanwhile, awkward moments abound as I just ran into my best friend's ex. It was your classic stare-down-as-you-walk-past and to be quite frank, I nearly burst out laughing. I'm not sure but I think he might have noticed that as well. So strange. I'm sure he's wondering what the hell I'm still doing on campus seeing as the last time we spoke was the night before my graduation (a conversation which I endured under duress I might add). Then again, maybe he guessed after spying the contraption I was carrying around. Made my day, that certainly did. Up till the final months of his rel/ship with Mel, I actually felt sorry for him at times... and overall thought he was a really great, decent guy. It's weird to look at someone after your opinion of them has been altered so much, and especially after you'd begun to almost consider them a friend.

Although I'm sure it's now over, when I got off at Central station this morning, I got a nice taste of how many people were attending the strikes protesting Howard's new IR laws. Oh man, I was so tempted to go with them and see if I could possibly get something written up. If it weren't for work, I might have. Then again, I've still very little practice as the nosy journalist (too bloody polite that's what :P)... then again, when opportunity knocks? Funnily enough, where the SMH had made it front page, the Daily Tel barely covered it. I'm a little surprised. I understand wanting to cover the terror suspects ('Grubs', in the words of Paul Kent), but come on... a strike over the new IR laws gets nothing? Hell, they even mentioned the strike in Melbourne! Unless someone clears something up for me big time, I can't say I'm on board with the new initiatives... there are a lot of shitty employers out there who will be at even greater advantage to abuse their employees. Not on. Oh, and I'm still not all that happy with a 'shoot to kill policy', although yes, I do think that I would prefer giving the police a little more leeway over having my train blow up on the way to work one morning. 

And now, it's time I ate. Will do so as I plough through some articles I want to read and some potential follow-ups I want to do on them. The assignment I've been working on has me a little stumped at the moment but only because I'm a ridiculous perfectionist when it comes to this and no idea seems good enough. Anyone here have any questions they've ever wanted to ask a range of celebrities (whatever type) which would not only be embarrassment free, but also allow them to better their image whilst being potentially creative and interesting? Hehehe... I want to tackle some writers but then I have to think of publication appeal and it's just not hitting me at the moment, who in the world would want to read about that seeing as I'm having so much trouble finding lit mags here in Sydney and the thought of tackling one of the bigger publications at this stage seems rather implausible.

'PMS City, man...'

Mood swings here, there and all over the place. It ain't great, and it ain't pretty but damned if that's gonna stop me writing about whatever at the moment.

True, not the greatest way to sort of restart, or repost, in my LJ but it's a ready outlet at this point. Hey, hopefully I'll have calmed down by the end of the entry, trusting that writing maintains its tendency to get me from Point A (I'm-a-pissed-off/depressed-as/hormonal-as-dope) to point B (oh-wow-life's-not-the-raving-bitch-that-I-thought-it-was).

Beyond this paragraph, I'm not saying anything about work. Just. No. Point. Right now, I am completely and totally hormonal hence I could not hate it more. But that's now. Bah. 

::Catch Up:: What's happened since I last posted here? Howard won. Bush won. I was pretty glad that Howard won (Latham was nothing more than a baby-kissing crowd pleaser who just did not seem to be able to make up his mind about anything). As to Bush? Out of two men who freak me out, he freaked me out less. Kerry seemed to resemble Latham a little too much for my liking. I could be wrong. I speak only of my personal impressions. I mean, is it too much to ask for someone to have the capacity to MAKE UP THEIR MIND AND STICK TO IT PLEASE????? Ok, maybe it is. I'm still gonna ask though. Trying to follow all the ups and downs just makes me wanna throw.

Ach. Whine, whinge, grumble. Gotta stop... or at least, tone it down. 

::Home Front News:: One of my baby sisters (and by that, I mean, the 18 year old :P) had her graduation ceremony yesterday. I cannot believe it. She's 18!! She's out of school! She's going to uni!! How quickly did that all happen?? Four years ago, it was me. And hehe, nothing has changed. The ceremony, the dresses, the neverending speeches... nope, it's all the same. Except that my sis is taller than I was back then. :P

::Blood Boilers:: Along with a large portion of Australia at the moment, Idol's got me hooked. Anthony VS Casey. Honestly, I like them both. Despite his extremely pop-like style, I am an Anthony fan. His voice just plain kills. It's one of the best voices I've ever heard. Plus, despite the idea that people have deemed him arrogant, I've seen no real indication of that whatsoever. I especially did not see any of that supposed 'arrogance' when, for the first time ever, I watched him shake like a leaf during last night's show (ex-performance, thankfully) and, also for the first time ever, heard him slip on some notes. 

There is something about him though, that drives me mad and that would be the fact that, if he were to be able to alter just a few things in his performance style, he would kill. End of story. I don't care that what he likes is more pop than anything else. Do not care, plus I like a lot of stuff that is considered pop (I like depth in my music, yes, but just because I also enjoy stuff that requires little or no real thought, this does not give anyone leave to label me as vacuous or shallow). But man! Those damn cheesy looks and little performance quirks that Johnny Young specialised in teaching back in the 80s... they really have to die. I mean, just die. I understand that years of training when you were a little kid are hard to unlearn, but get those out of there and he'd be one helluva performer. I'm completely with Dicko on the frustration. The best and the worst in the comp (almost) are both in him and if he could just forget all that the 'great' JY taught him. That would be bloody, freaking awesome. Oh yeah, and lose some of that melisma. Not all, but it needs cutting. 

Combine his voice and dedication with Guy's emotional delivery. That would be amazing. 

That said, I love Casey. Great voice, great control and, from what I can see, cool personality. She still has that little bit of 'I'm so grunge, get me?' going on, but she's getting over it and I really like that. She is better than that. And for someone who so many have crticised in terms of physical appearance, I must say, she has really gorgeous eyes. It gets even better when they actually come to life while she's singing. People are right (Anthony included) when they say she has an amazing ability to bring real emotion into her songs and more of that ability than anyone else in the comp. I know maturity and age are a subjective matter, but she's done pretty bloody well for herself for a 16 year old. 

That she and Anthony are so obviously friends, and completely easy around one another, makes me even happier that they are the final two (kind of like Shannon and Guy, where Shannon = Casey, except I think Casey actually has talent). Had it been Courtney VS Anthony? I don't think it would have been as much fun to watch their antics. Last week's Inside Idol had me cracking up heaps! 

**Speaking of cracking up, I did a great deal of that watching Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, last Friday. Funny and sweet as hell, that movie is. :D 'Twas a great end, to a completely shithouse week.** 

Some of the stuff that people have said about both idol finalists... oh well. We are all entitled to our opinion (which I am overexercising at this point). I like them both and whosoever ends up winning, given that it is what they actually want, then I'll be happy. I only pity the fool that will have to record that hopeless song as their debut single. Wow. Craptacular as all hell. 

Ok, I think that Point B has finally been reached, even if possibly only temporarily. My only cripe right now is that no one is letting me get Guy's 'Kryptonite' and I've been trying to do so for ages now. 

::Odds and Ends:: Am currently reading Eudora Welty (a collection). And enjoying it. Makes me want to write more actually, and that's always good :)

Journo is getting back on track. Yay!

I have sworn off alcohol. Bring on the Coke! I am swapping the depressant (and believe me, it did!) for the not-so-stimulant. At least I get happy without getting ridiculous or ultimately depressed/humiliated.

I am finally getting my watch fixed (thanks to having a paycheque) after something like a year. 

I've been doing some drawing again. Hurrah! And getting to sit down at the piano a bit more too.

I shall reserve my work rant till after the departure of the buggered hormones. Once that occurs, there is a slight chance I may like it. Although, there is no need to hold breath. In fact, I advise against it.

I finally get to watch the last ep of Friends, next Monday. I was sad when it actually ended [cue reader's laughter], but this'll just cement it for me. 

Our house is getting redone and I'll finally be getting my own room. :) I'm 22 in less than a fortnight, 'tis about time, no?

Last Friday was the one year anniversary of the death of Jonathan Brandis. Rest In Peace

ETA: *Hurrah! I'm finally getting Kryptonite!*

Hmmm...

I'm sitting here pondering whether or not I'll be hungover in the morning, whilst checking email (!). 

Ah, we'll see. 

And I still don't call myself an alco. Almost 10 drinks, once in a blue moon doesn't make me an alco. 

Does it?

I'm not actually drunk, but I do feel a bit odd. I'm actually surprised at my tolerance level... I thought that not drinking would have made me more sensitive.

Like I said, we'll see.

Btw, just to mention since I've not done so yet this year.... Penrith won yesterday's game against the Tigers after 2 defeats in a row so hurrah! That made my Friday :)

Writing mood; on.

Although the time of relaxation in which I've been indulging lately is about to - nay, has to - end soon, it's done a whole bloody world of good. 

Uni began again this week and I only ended up going in on Tuesday because I was sick on Monday. So I missed one RM3A lecture. Again. Second Monday Lecture I've missed in a row which is not fantastic since this is my second time around. And, to make that even more ridiculous (although at least this time, guilt-free), next Monday is a public holiday (ANZAC weekend) so that will make it the 3 for 3. 

Tuesday was, to say the least, draining. Tolerable, but still draining. I was pretty keen to go in too, since I hadn't seen anyone all week break. I was all set, good mood and all. First lecture was sociology, which is generally ok, albeit a little sleepy at times because my lecturer is in the habit of rambling. I was only slightly bored since Travis and Adra are always great entertainment but then towards the end of the lecture, we had to watch 4Corners footage of the Rwandan massacre (the topic this week was Ethnic Cleansing). We were watching the testimonies made by some of the Hutu killers. 

I don't know if I've ever watched anything so distressing in my whole life. 

No, it wasn't extremely graphic (minus the shot after shot of bodies and bloodied streams - whether you would call that graphic, I suppose, is subjective), but... several times throughout the video, I wanted to cry and at the end, I was physically ill. The words of those talking didn't make things any better (sometimes describing what they actually did to people with more detail than was desirable). You could see they were remorseful and that they themselves, didn't seem to understand what they had been doing and why, outside of the basic hatred and wish to rid themselves of oppression. I won't go into any of it here... a woman who survived the killings at the church gave her account and I still want to cry just thinking about it. 

The whole thing depressed me (I don't think I need to excuse myself for that). After studying Psych for 3 years, you stop asking how people can bring themselves to do that sort of thing. People are capable of anything. You certainly don't have to be a psych student to know that, you just have to watch the news. Of course, I can still ask why... but it doesn't make acknowledging these things any easier to swallow. 

Adra and I were walking to stats and basically trying to work it through I guess... although the fact that stats was where we were headed didn't help things. My motivation was shot momentarily and listening to Melanie go over orthogonal contrasts was just a little too much. It's not an excuse, true, but my notes for that lecture are pretty poor. I also found that I was missing a page of the notes so that didn't help - ruddy printer - and I was also a little disappointed to find that a friend of mine wasn't there (Menchie and I are still in the process of trying to convince Reyna to come to class more often so I was glad to see her there though).

Those 3 painful hours finally done, I had a break and ended up having lunch with Mench, Mel and Kristine (who's still relatively new... only been here for a month! Hasn't stopped her from having already visited Taronga Zoo hehe). The mood was kinda sombre though because Mel wasn't well and we were all trying to help her out a bit. It was kinda nice towards the end though because almost everyone I hadn't seen in ages appeared from nowhere so I was talking to a lot of people (at different times that is. Travis rocked up and crashed eventually), but this meant that the others were sort of stuck watching. I felt bad, rude but stretched a little at the same time. I'm not the greatest at manning several conversations at once so I fall into (very self-consciously) ignoring people. Not nice.

Sociology tutorial. Death. I don't hate this subject. I brought it on myself anyway... you don't enrol in a socio class called 'Space of Terror' without expecting some pain. I was still reeling slightly from the video (yes, it takes me a while to get past things) and I didn't want to be there. Justin and Travis are cool though, so I don't mind talking to them about it all. My tutor is pretty cool too. I got to argue a bit with the American exchange student, Dean (slight crush... slight!) and then the rest of the time, discussed the prep questions with the others... typical tute. Nothing too shocking I guess. Then I got my essay back. I did hopelessly. I passed, yes, but I was upset. I'd worked hard on that essay and it was a slight knock. Plus, it's socio. I'm generally good at the subject. My mood basically plummeted.

I just checked the actual percentage received. It was a high pass - almost a credit. I didn't realise (I simply saw the 'P' and the mark out of 25)... ok, that makes me feel a little better. Sheesh, get all the facts first... heh.

The day picked up a little after that. Met up with Reyna and Menchie and the two of them were playing around with her new phone [rant warning - I hate these new phones. I seriously can't stand them. Polyphonic ringtones piss me off so much, I don't see the point of having a camera or video in your phone and I could never imagine myself surfing the net on my mobile. I get that other people want them so I don't rant about it too often, but as long as my phone lets me ring or text people and vice versa, then I'm set. I just don't see the need I guess, but how you use your money is how you use your money so... I'm not big on buying things I don't need, that's all. Ok, I'll admit to wanting a bunch of DVDs and books. They are my weaknesses, though I don't have the means and even if I did, doesn't mean I'd buy 'em. Yes, I'm a scrooge. And any friend who has tried to take me clothes shopping, knows enough to fuhgeddaboutit]. 

The rest of the day is a bit of a dreary blur, outside of my conversation with Duane which revealed that the two us have a lot more in common than I had originally thought. Then again, anyone who knows what Ciclosporin even is, gets points with me. Oh and Reyna's friend Ralph, is a gag. I don't get to see a lot of the homey-boy Filos at my uni so he was kind of a breath of fresh air (despite the fact that most of the time, those guys really shit me). Stats tute came and went and then Mel, Menchie and I met up with Jen at Central and headed home. I honestly envy Jen right now. She's working at ING at the moment and has deferred the year. Not thinking about assignments, classes, researching, etc... sounds positively loverly (May and Gill, seriously, I don't know how you handle both work and school, but bravo girls). I've a semester then I can do that, which I suppose is better considering Jen will have to come back to it. The job search is still on though and the job at uni is ??? Honestly, I've not heard a word (Ri!!). 

Journalism is going well. My tutor is cool and I love that I'm not doing it at uni. 

Yesterday, Menchie and I headed off to Parra to watch 50 First Dates. That's a really cute movie and at the same time, Mench and I kept thinking of secondyear cognition. We had to watch a video of a man who had a similar condition. It was so sad... every time he'd see his wife, though he knew who she was, it was as though he was seeing her for the first time. You could see the look on her face... though the movie is funny, you can't laugh at the fact that it's real. A lot of people live this way. 

While at Parra, I found DVDs for It and NESII but of course, they were expensive as. I'm more glad to know they're available here in Oz. Not many Jonathan Brandis movies are (yes, I'm hoarding, so sue me) and I don't think I've much hope for finding the TV ones but thanking Jan for trying! And BJ for offering to tape and send :D You people are loverly. 

Oh, and a hurrah! I found a bunch of songs I'd been wanting for the longest time! I first saw the Macross movies when I was around 12 or 13 and I loved the music... I was able to find Ai Oboeteimasuka from the original Macross. I love that song... it's in Japanese, yes, but it's still one of my favourite songs ever and it's way better in Japanese anyway (I've the english lyrics as well). Yoko Kanno's cello version of the Myung theme for Macross Plus and the vocal as well, and Between Heaven and Earth. I also got Cruel Angel's Thesis and Dance Like You Want to Win from Neon Genesis. I love manga soundtracks. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the themes for Battle Angel Alita or Tokyo Babylon but hey, I got a lot already. 

Meanwhile, thanks to Rick Dees (though I never listen to you hehe) for bringing Hoobastank's The Reason, Switchfoot's Meant to Live and Five For Fighting's 100 Years to my attention. And Mel, thanks for telling me that there was a 9min version of In Da Club. Man! It's replaced my old one. My music collection grows... recent additions besides the aforementioned, were Chantal Kreviazuk, Bob Schneider, Casper's Lullaby, Jordan Hill, Cranberries, Gene Wilder (Pure Imagination was one of my favourite songs when I was younger) and some stuff from the Sister Act soundtracks (great Gospel-y stuff). 

Ok, I've been somewhat overindulgent with my music. I can't help it. Writing and music sustain me(of course, outside of prayer and my family and friends). 

And now that my writing energy has all been used up, I've some stats notes to go over and organise for my optional test, a new journo assignment to start and a socio journal entry to write. My sis just asked me to look up some N64 cheats for her and I'm getting a kick out of reading them. I may not play much anymore but hey, now I wanna try a couple things. I'm such a geek! (that reminds me, I gotta see if I can get a hold of any of Wil Wheaton's books hehe. One of them's called Just a Geek, but he's only just finished writing it. Go here if you're interested).

:D

Ramblings...

Ok... most of this entry is simply to achieve some mental organisation so I can finally finish up my assignments... if there has been anything I've been neglecting lately, it's been those and I really need to fix that... I finished Apt Pupil last friday and I've decided to leave the last story till when I have the time. Meanwhile, that story is well written, but twisted... part of the reason it freaked me out a little was the fact that I could honestly see it happening in real life *shudder*

Anyway, I tend to just type and let things roll as I do so, so I'm expecting the rest of this entry to be really disjointed and very rambly... 

Just some ideas to jot down for the ‘acting class’ that we’re going to put together for Behaviour in Organisations… I've not been able to properly meet up with the other members in my group considering everyone is so busy, thanks to the semester getting closer and closer to finishing...

We could look at the ways acting have changed over the years and pinpoint particular styles which we could cover in the class and those who were major performers in those styles, because I think that as part of teaching the class, we should also further advise our ‘students’ to do their own research on these styles and eras, by watching the old movies, observing the actors and reading up on old acting books and reading about what actors do to prepare (such is the advice of Mr. Wil Wheaton anyway. Not to say that there is no other approach or view on the subject, but it does sound pretty sensible to me…)

We then could select 2 or 3 styles which we can actively cover in the class. I already know of (or at least, have heard of) method acting, for example, for his short stint on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Charlie Sheen had to play a druggo at the police station. If my info is correct, to look the part, he actually did not sleep for 72 hours beforehand... 

Outside of method acting, what else have we seen? The change in standard – in the early stages of cinema, it was a running joke, as well as almost a fact, that women who knew how to ‘faint’ and ‘scream’, had what it takes to get into the silent movies. Now, one might say that all a woman needs is a great body and face and voila! You have a successful actress, and this may also work for guys. Although personally, I don’t reckon you could say the larger, more powerful actors and actresses can’t act… I don’t think they could have maintained their careers if that were the case. Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt, Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise… and all the rest. I never cared much for how Brad looked, but he is one helluva good actor in my opinion. Not to mention his adaptability with accents.

Depending on who you are, the ways of approaching a role vary. We should look into that because people are different so we want to adopt a training style which will benefit all the students... I'm having trouble trying to use the last couple of lectures we had on training, with acting...

Up to this point, film acting has been the focus. However, there is TV (live or cartoon), theatre and other miscellaneous activities which involve a degree of acting, such as mime (I had to put that in… Chris is really jumping up and down to do his mime act for the class). 

Theatre is very different from onscreen acting because you have to involve the live audience (TV or movies can have the actors try to involve the audience however, in the end, they are really only talking to a camera, as opposed to a live group of people again leading to different approaches). There is also the issue of positioning yourself on the stage. From every time I’ve been in a production, it appears to be a strict rule, never to turn your back on the audience. If you’re not facing them fully, then you should at least be in the position to allow you to have them in your sights and engage them in your dialogue. You’re addressing them just as much as you’re addressing the rest of the cast.

Oh my gosh! It just occurred to me to ask Xan and anyone else who’s in the Fellowship, if they’ve done any drama and what sort of stuff they did! Cool!

I think it would be a good idea to address the fact that while some people are brilliant actors, and others mediocre, there are those who couldn’t do it to save their lives… how could we include them in our training? I’m sure there are ways to get around that. I keep thinking of Joey (Friends) here and his little ‘tricks’… I’d like to see that actually hehehe.

I know there’s more, but I’m kind of tapped for now… as I watch an insane amount of TV and an equally ridiculous number of movies, Chris wants me to write the report up for the group. The dill. Meanwhile, I need to begin the research on that…

Ok, I now have to do the same sort of brainstorming for Psychopathology. This one is going to be a lot more difficult I’m sure, but it’s still worth half a shot or more. 
Wow… this is proving to be harder than I expected… ok then. The experiment Ri and I carried out was looking to replicate the findings of past research investigating the relationship between particular parenting techniques or behaviours and non-compliance in normal families (the majority of past research looks at more extreme cases of noncompliant or aggressive behaviour in children, these kids having been diagnosed with actual behavioural disorders. This is why this experiment was only looking at non-compliance as it was assumed that more severe behaviours would more likely be rare in normal families). 

Ok… according to research, particularly that which has been conducted by Patterson, it appears to be the case that parents of more aggressive or non-compliant children are more likely to give more commands, provide less positive reinforcement for appropriate behaviours (including compliance), and use ineffective strategies like threats, criticism and sporadic physical punishment to discourage inappropriate behaviour in their kids. These have been termed, ‘reinforcement traps’. This leads to children being less sensitive to patterns or reward and punishment and may be likely to simply increase their bad behaviour when they are punished, as was found by Snyder. 

Hmmm… ok, that’s what I have so far… right now though, I can’t help thinking that although there are a lot of apparent relationships between aggression and physical punishment in families, I personally still reckon that some kids really need a good thwack on the butt once in a while… I’m not trying to endorse child beatings or anything, but I’m not quite sure I’d totally write off spanking just yet. I just reckon the issue differs from child to child. Some kids may benefit and others might not. 

Anyway, back to the study. Did our experiment further support past research? I... don't bloody remember right now...all the correlations, positive or negative, were pretty weak however, there were some apparent effects, if not incredibly significant ones, so that's all I can really focus on. Ok... I gotta go over my results and my other readings again. 

Ok... this has actually helped out a little bit :) I've got quite a few references for it, but I've still got to look up more info on acting :P For now though, I'm not as lost as I was before. Cool.

:wave:

Again, I'm celebrating a Panthers win! Hurrah! Not only did they completely annihilate the Eagles (52-26!!) but they are back on top of the ladder with a real lead :D A bloody great job but also - Lewis, Wesser and Campbell... you. guys. rock! At half time, the score was a 12-26, in favour of the Eagles so the second half was just awesome. Woohoo!

Anyway, that made for a pretty sweet weekend, as far as I'm concerned. Although, there was the slight disruption which held back my completion of my Psych presentation and this came in the form of my little sister's friend, gracing us with her presence for the entire weekend. Now she's a cool little kid, but a weekend of her and my sister combined is just a little too much.

The result? I was up till 5am this morning, working on my assignment. The really cool part was waking up at 6am in order to get ready and catch my train (I had to get in early to fix up my overheads). I know, I know... I'm sick. I don't need anyone to tell me this (not that that stops people). Believe me, I know. ;)

I'm cool with it now though, considering the presentation is over, meaning I have a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I am not the worst at presentations, but I'm certainly not the best. This is especially the case when the topic is one I'm not very familiar with at all par example, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It didn't help that the reading itself was badly structured and all over the place... my tutor even acknowledged this.

Tomorrow, Ri and I will be doing our child behaviour coding. We have to go to a family's house and observe a child during a supposedly high stress time, in our case dinnertime, and sit there for a half hour observing and coding the target child's behaviour and interaction with his/her parents. Ri and I know the girl we're doing but hopefully this doesn't disrupt things too much. The whole situation is most probably not going to be the most naturalistic but it's the best we can do at this point without the use of a lounge-like lab. The two of us there is to ensure inter-rater reliability between results.

Doesn't Psychopathology sound grand? ;)

Our Social Psych experiment is almost up and running... we just have to meet up with our tutor one more time to run it by him and also get ethics approval for it, then UNSW students on your breaks? Watch yourselves! Hehehehe...

Btw, Chris, I can't use imagestation on this comp :( because I don't have admin capabilities but hopefully when the comp at home is fixed, I can upload the pics there. But thanks heaps for the suggestion! :D

Anyhow, it's time to get back to work, I have a research proposal I have to also get started on for Organisational, which is due in week 9 and it's now week 6 :eek:

:D

Warning: insanely long entry...

Hey all! 

Just a precautionary note: I’m in the mood to write and in the mood to type and as those people who have ever received a hella long email from me before would know, this is a lethal combination and such a thing is definitely worthy of dire warning.

Monday was the day to run into old friends and familiar faces. I went to that debate at Sydney Uni and it was definitely worth it. Very glad I went and very regretful that I didn’t bring a tape recorder with me. I saw a 2GB mic up on the lecterns. I’m entertaining doubts I’d stay up to wait for that report. No offence meant to 2GB listeners (I guess). If I had seen any ABC representatives, well, that would’ve just torn it. 

On the way to the debate itself, I ran into this girl from my old school, Helena. She’s still finishing up her high school stuff and things look good for her. She’s hoping to get into medicine and I seriously hope she succeeds ‘cause I know she’s definitely one smart cookie and there are very few people I know whom I would say had the dedication needed to take on that degree and that profession. At the actual debate, I met up with Tess (who was doing a kickass ushering job by the way ;)) and sat with her mum (Tess’ll whack me if I write ‘mom’) and her friend Darren for the duration of the debate. 

At that stage, I really couldn’t see anyone else I knew but afterwards, I saw even more people from school (funnily enough, these included some of my sister’s classmates, whom I am quite certain, have not yet graduated… I wonder whatthey were do… oh I’ll drop that. I’m not the truant officer. We don’t even have such a thing down here) and ended up running into Nicole, one of my closest friends and another ex-classmate who, like Tess, goes to USyd. Tess, Nicole, Darren and I ended up spending the rest of the day at the Hungry Jack’s at Central station, pretty much laughing and making cracks at each other (whenever I hang out with my closest friends, we usually spend the whole time insulting each other… behaviour which possibly displays an excessively high level of comfort lol. And since Darren and Tess are friends, well he kinda got caught up in the whirlwind also). 

That night, I had a lot to tape (Alias, Now and Again and the Buffy finale – that’s 3 hours in one night, which even I think is outright disgusting) so as shocking as this may sound, I seriously spent the evening being a complete couch potato, with the laptop on my lap the entire time, the remote handy (I hate taping ads) and mucking around with my little sister. She rocks by the way. Always succeeds in getting me into a laughing fit. That is, when she’s not actively trying to piss me off.

Honestly, Monday night, I really showed my ability to prioritise. Taping and writing the rest of the night instead of reading the paper that was set for my tute the next morning (which btw, I had spent all day stressing about getting till my friend Ri said she’d scan it and email it to me, the angel:))... I ended up reading it on the train to uni the next day, which turned out to be just as effective anyway.

And now we get to Tuesday. My not-so-favourite day. 9-4 with just an hour off. Of course, now that I think about it, that is certainly better than last sem’s 9-5, NO break. Cool. The glass is half full after all :) I do, however, feel obliged to provide a reminder that reading any further is only advisable if I’ve not yet penetrated the final realms of absolute boredom – obviously this is assuming you even got this far. If, however, you are in search of a cure for your insomnia, then by all means… just don’t bloody say I didn’t warn you mate.

My Psychopathology tute was actually alright for a morning class, despite the fact that it meant a wake-up call at 6am in order to get the train. I – and some of the others in the tute – got to act like a total prat so that the rest of the class could practise behaviour coding for child-parent interaction during a high stress situation (i.e. dinnertime) which we’re going to have to do by week 6. That was funnier than you’d expect it to be. Seriously! One group in particular – which consisted of 2 of the many Amandas I know doing Psych at my uni – had us laughing so hard! Who would’ve thought a Psychopathology tute could do that? 

Ok, well I sure as hell never would have.

I later had lunch with one of the many Amandas I know doing Psych at UNSW (btw Manda, thank you soo much for introing yourself to me as Manda… otherwise I think I’d have gone nuts!). More laughter. I am not kidding. Amanda and me together? It’s kind of like saying you’ll have some cereal with your sugar… laughter dominates any plausible conversation.

Did that make sense? Hope so.

After that, I had my first Social Psych tute. We’re spending the sem conducting an experiment so there are only a couple of formal tutes, after which each group will be left to their own devices… oh pardon me… research… till they have to give a presentation. My group is looking at the role of inhibition in blurting and we’ve got a design for the experiment in the works but for the moment, mum’s the word. The design and materials aren’t due till next week anyway so it could change. So far though, I’m already liking this assignment.

One lecture left and that done, Jessamine and I spent some time verbally bashing one another on our way to – and once we were at – the psych comp labs (stopping intermittently to check our email), before getting a lift to the station with Ri and Carlos, after much debate about whether or not he should go to his lecture. Ri and I kept telling him off… or at least, Ri did up until he noted that if they left now, they could beat traffic. There was even more deliberation after Ri offered Jess and me a lift to *a* station and we finally decided on Central – which later in the car changed to Town Hall. We went in Ri’s new car, a.k.a. her shitbox, which she doesn’t yet have a license to drive (argh! The injustice!), so Carlos did the driving. The lot of us spent most of that time laughing again. 

Yes, in answer to your question, my friends and I are as crazy as we sound. 

Honestly though, I think I’ve laughed more in the last few days than I have since this sem started. Hee, I love it when things even out like that.

And then we come to yesterday. Wednesday. Woden’s Day. Unfortunately, right after I actually wrote it, exactly who Woden was, flew right out of my head so, uh, moving on then… important thing to note is that it’s my day off! 

Oh! Woden was a Norse god. His significance in Norse Mythology however… sorry, I read the book when I was about 5 or 6… bugger me if I can remember much more of it…

Anyway…

I went to Parramatta with Menchie to get a 21st present for our friend Reyna who’s having a bbq and piss up this Friday at her place. Since I don’t drink it’s probably going to end up being me watching everyone else get sloshed as, which can be both entertaining and disturbing at the same time (uh huh, I don’t drink. C’mon! Beer tastes like piss [oh no. Don’t even think of pulling out the ol’ ‘what? You’ve tasted piss before? Taste is smell mate and beer stinks like piss. Well, to me anyway] and with most chick drinks, the minute I taste the alcohol, I don’t wanna drink anymore of the stuff… ok, people have been going on and on to me about Archers – almost as much as Krispy Kremes, which is sweeping the freakin’ city [a fact which I’ll bet the people up in America must find amusing… bah, Australia’s always been behind in that sense. The Phils had Pringles for something like 12 years before they came down here! Although, I did hear that you guys are only just getting Nutella and some people are pronouncing it ‘New-tella’. To quote Comic Book Guy, ‘Haha! I’m unbelievablyamused!’] so I may give Archers a try. Damn, that was one helluva digression).

All in all? Looks to be fun ;) This year is chockablock. 21sts, weddings… last Saturday, I had a 21st and a 26th to go to, but in the end I had to thank my lack of car and my parents’ not total faith in my driving ability when it comes to the Tarago (or Toyota Previa[?] in the US). I don’t blame them though. Both parties were in Kensington, not far from uni. To those not in the know (the best place to be btw), that’s quite a drive. The Tarago is nice and easy to drive and all, but I’m not insured on it, hence the need for total faith.

It took just one hour to find Reyna’s gift. For me, that is a bleeding record! I am terrible with presents…it takes me forever to think of just what to get. Once that’s done though, it’s usually good. But seriously, that’s how long it takes to actually think of something. Menchie was a lifesaver. She knows Reyna better than I do so she at least had something in mind already. 

For lunch, we got a chance to use Menchie’s employee discount so it was lunch at Oporto’s! Their chips are niiice. Really. And Menchie’s friends made sure the box was full too. 

Ahhh, I love having connections. 

After lunch, we found a really good card almost immediately and there’s this great little shop that sells these mad gift boxes. We had bought Reyna some earrings – and we found the perfect box for them. That clinched the day’s success as far as Menchie and I were concerned. Looking at some of the cards got us in a funny mood so we were being a bit dopey for the rest of the afternoon.

Of course though after that, since we were done, Menchie forced me to look at some clothes. I was a good sport about it… for about a few seconds. Lol. She knows I’m not big on shopping so she only pulled me (not physically, thank goodness) to a couple of stores, bless her heart. I thank her for that. I was also kind of in a rush ‘cause I had to get to Westmead Hospital before the pharmacy closed. I made it in the end, so I’m a happy girl ;) Really, trips to that place are indeed made more pleasant when you know no one’s going to stick a needle in your arm (and possibly have to do a little searching while they’re in there!). I really shouldn’t wail about that though. I know I’ve gotten used to it so I just watch, grin and make cracks about it all to the person administering the test. 

Now it’s Thor’s Day (people’ve heard of Thor’s Hammer, yes? Yep, Norse Mythology again), better known as Thursday and I’m about to get ready for uni. Class isn’t till 1 and I woke up shockingly early this morning, after falling asleep a little early last night, around 9-ish (to anyone who knows me, I suggest you pick yourselves up off the floor and I hope you’ve suffered no permanent injuries). I’ve just been watching the early news. Main stories… 3 more US soldiers killed in Iraq (that’s totally depressing)… railway stations in Sydney being overrun by police and security personnel (supposedly not causing any delays. Bah, who needs them to slow down the trains. Cityrail does that pretty well on its own)… the heat wave in Europe (it’s bloody scary how many people have actually already died due to that. It must be awful)… I’m trying in vain, to remember the rest of the little bits scrolling along the bottom… and now it’s on to sports. I only watch the stuff on the NRL and that was over in a blip plus Penrith have the bye this weekend, so I’m done. 

‘Another day, another box of stolen pens’. I’m off to get ready for uni and I sincerely hope the police have cleared out of Central. All the footage I saw was from there and they were searching people’s bags and everything. Man, I’m glad I didn’t have uni yesterday. On Monday, I do remember the place crawling with security and I was wondering what the hell was up. I guess I have my answer.

Later! :)